Punk'n Harvest Pumpkin Ale from Uinta Brewing Company

This is a placeholder post for the Punk'n brew I drank (or, tried to drink) last night.  I promise to come back and write in explicit detail about how much this beer made me wish I didn't have tastebuds.

For now, suffice it to say that this beer totally sucked.  It smelled like malted dust and tasted like stale asshole.  I didn't even want to drink enough of it to do a proper review... but I powered through long enough to decide it was disgusting.  Then the rest went down the sink (and I didn't even feel bad).

I think I got punk'd by Punk'n.

It is now several hours later... and I'm leaving my "placeholder" text because I think it's funny.  Here's the actual review:

I like this label.  This is the only thing I liked about this entire experience.

Brewer:  Uinta Brewing Company
Location:  Salt Lake City, UT
Name of Brew:  Punk'n Harvest Pumpkin Ale
Manufacturer's Description:  "This sessionable pumpkin ale is brewed with fresh pumpkin and seasonal spices."
ABV:  4.0%

Color
This ale poured out a beautiful coppery orange color.  It was crystal clear and had no cloudiness or floaties to speak of.  As you'll soon find out, this is about the only positive thing I can say about this particular beer.

Head
Such little head, I don't dare even call it that.  Really.  Virtually none.  The picture of the beer on the actual brewer's website is hilariously inaccurate.  Also... no head retention... because you have to have head in order to retain it.  This thing had less head than a eunuch.

Aroma
Smells flat.  Stale, kind of like dust... really unpleasant.  Seriously, it reminds me of the smell my bookshelf gets when I haven't dusted it in 10 months... an amalgamation of used trade paperbacks all covered in a featherlight coating of dust.  Eventually as I sipped on it it did sort of start to smell like sweet dust.  An improvement?  Certainly not.  Now it just smells like the morning after a college drinking party: sticky sweet, stale beer fragrance and hey, where'd my pants go?

Taste
Early palette  Hey, there's carbonation here!  It did have a good a amount of carbonation zing right off the bat, which is actually surprising considering how flat it smelled.
Middle palette  It's got some kind of flavor, but I can't seem to pin-point what it is.  I really, really want to say dust, but I don't actually know what dust tastes like so that wouldn't be a fair assumption.  But it tastes like what I imagine dust would taste like, based on what dust smells and looks like!
Late palette  Sour on the back of the tongue and somewhat bitter, although it doesn't taste like hops.

Overall
From the way it poured with a immeasurably small amount of head, to the way it smelled like a stale dust biscuit, to the way it tasted like, well, nothing... this beer was completely unenjoyable.  I really couldn't pick out any distinct flavor at all, and each sip was followed by a wince and some variety of an onomatopoetic exclamation like "eugh", "blech", or "pluhhh".  I'm hoping I just got a bottle out of a bad batch and that this beer isn't actually all that terrible (especially considering it's won a silver medal award at the 2010 World Beer Championships), but I'm not willing to buy another one to find out.